Now on to the second half of my title. The other day a student asked me to correct a fiction piece that she had written. I think it provides a fascinating look into the mind of a Chinese student, which is why I'm sharing it with you. I won't provide too much commentary, but reading the story shocked me and helped me realize how different my thinking patterns are from those of my students. I'm amazed that they behave as well as they do in class.
Also, it illustrates the level of English that Jean-Jacques and I are encountering in our classes. Remember, these students have been studying English for ten years, and this essay was written by a girl who speaks fairly well. In many ways, this essay shows the shortcomings of the Chinese education system. Her grammar is often technically correct, but the bigger picture of ideas (the creative element of the work) is difficult for us to follow. I've seen this mistake in many essays I've been asked to correct. If you only focus on memorizing information and studying for multiple choice tests, you fail to strengthen logical and real world thinking skills. Let this be a warning to the American education system.
Trojan Horse
“It only remains a little food and water. Maybe we can strut for another time though I know how hard it will be.” Miles said in a anxious voice. Everbody who is in the dark hole starts to be in a subdued voice. It makes Miles feel fuzzy about the dream which he made just now.
The dark hole consists of ten small area, which is sealed off without the sunshine. How terrible the day is! The human is in such a tight corner from the years to another because of the mucky tumours on the ground.
“But mom, what is the earth’s surface like?” But the sound disappears rapidly. The woman looks at Miles –– their captain –– with a scard expression. She is covering her child’s mouth. Here and there is the bulky breath, no other sound.
The curse appears by the words from others suddenly.
They went though a so-called disater, which made them be forsaked by relatives. Plus, they lost hope until the underground hole was discovered.
“Where is Trojan horse now?” Miles asked. No one but breath answered.
When the tumours appeared, they were not taken seriously. Some people thought they were only some rubbish which would be cleaned rapidly. With the time by, the human started to become scared. There wasn’t any plants or animals around them. And the soil became black –– like the ink. They were aware of the importance to clean them. But it was too late.
The disaster which was recognized as a severe winter came. The human were frightened by watching those terrible plays, for which they hide themselves under the bed. After a long time, a piece of news went around the world –- the Noah’s Ark was built with some rare metal which was found in a forsaked church. There was a predition from the ancient prophet on the wall –– the old will be destroyed by the new one.
But the ark was the only one. no more the self-lish came out while some people were crying that the civilization of the humans will disappear.
The stations was on the promontory. There won’t be any prisdent or officer, but some refugees. The graceful deed was disregarded. so was the people who had attached importance to the identity. some old men were pushed out of the ark with the words “I love you, but…”, so were some children. The parents remained to look after the children. But some children lost their parents.
The memorizing was always bitter because of forsaking, only some scared emotion remained. The time ended.
After all, the god didn’t ignore his children. He lead the people to the hole which can protect them but no freedom. Some years later, a trojan horse appeared. Nobody knew where it came from.
The trojan horse is just like the ark but can only include one person. The person in it called himself “Archipelago” and helped others transmit the information. And nobody knew his real identity.
“We are just like some fools to wait for a stranger! Can you tell me what his purpose is? He is the people not of the same clan!” a man shouted suddenly. A abnormal expression appeared on everyone’s face.
“And what did you mean?” Miles asked, shaked his body. “Your works didn’t make a sense.” with a peacefur voice. The man sneered and put up his hand. “We should get the rare metal from the horse, but not stay here to do nothing every day.”
For a moment nothing happened. Then came a voice all shouting in a hubbub.
The day was over without Archipelago. Thanks to that he didn’t come on that day.
The abrupt thing divided the crowds. Some of them were for the man, but some were not. After all, there was only one trojan horse in the world. They didn’t know how to deal with it. Phus, it became more and more sharp as if the war would happen.
